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Deviant for 6 Months
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Literature
Almost Nothing
and the time is coming to move on once again
the grass is emerald green, but the tears in my head won’t go out for the occasion
it’s the warm ache in my fingertips that worries me;
reaching out isn’t an option so late in the day
that the sun is a stuck orange to the sky,
stuck like a kill screen, stuck like me
the swollen tongue in my mouth is queen to the sharp, unsteady beats of my heart
it’s going to ruin me, you know
the “afterwards”
:iconpicayunevoltage:picayunevoltage
:iconpicayunevoltage:picayunevoltage 0 0
Literature
to you.
sputtering, I
can’t find that cursed
surface.
teeth gritting;
arms flailing;
feet twisting:
couldn’t he have at least
had the decency
to let it be?
but
underwater, noise travels as well.
I wish I could elaborate;
I have to save my breath
for when it runs short.
there was a study:
a personality bears no resemblance to that
of the same person 50 years younger.
and I want your life—not that it helps to say so.
no, I don’t hold back—
not that it matters—
I am nothing more than a needle in a haystack/forest of pines
(that tee-shirt I have).
you warrant a rake or two;
he doesn’t deserve a hand.
please, understand that he is all I had
for far too long
etched into my DNA is his writing
I am his daughter;
all I can hope to become is my own
wanderer.
he took from me what I hold most dear;
I hope you can help me get it back,
but perhaps my carelessness was never a point to be loved
and maybe those leaves on my bust
will turn gold after an afternoon of flo
:iconpicayunevoltage:picayunevoltage
:iconpicayunevoltage:picayunevoltage 0 0
Literature
Whatever Happened to Love
It's the itch at the back of my throat
The smile that tugs my lips over my teeth
Now, if I tell you it's all been a joke to me, would you cry with me?
Now, if I were to ask for more, would you answer in a complete sentence?
Put your lips on mine, dig deeper than you've ever before
Come on, let's forget this pain and fall asleep in each other's arms
Really, I'm ready to ask for more.
:iconpicayunevoltage:picayunevoltage
:iconpicayunevoltage:picayunevoltage 0 0
Literature
Aging, like far too many others
1. I used to call airplanes man-made wishing stars
If I dare slip a breath in, would I catch the butterflies that you seem to have
2. My favorite thing to say was, "It's not time to worry yet."
Here I am yet again, hoping for something that'll never have the chance to happen
3. I used to agree with mainstream clothing
With these tattered shirts, I'm no one important
4. He used to tell me the sweetest things, only to stab my back over and over
I'm crying every time I see you, just wishing I had more time to tell you how good you are
Because if there's one lie I've learned to speak over these last few years, it's that I'm not worth the effort. Shallows threaten to swallow me whole, and I'm not even 20.
:iconpicayunevoltage:picayunevoltage
:iconpicayunevoltage:picayunevoltage 1 0
Literature
Sweet-Toothed and Whipped
Looked up and saw shards of peace
Where there should have been courses of pity
Saw I was safe here and there
If not welcome to stay the month of rain
Wait out the pain of yesterday's scars
We stand on the same path
And I don't want to move past you
You're like the sweetest taffy:
Getting stuck in the deepest corners of my mind
Can't seem to shake off your voice from my chittering teeth
Want to ask you a million and score questions
Alas, the only thing I wouldn't do for a chance with you
Is take you by surprise.
:iconpicayunevoltage:picayunevoltage
:iconpicayunevoltage:picayunevoltage 1 1
Literature
This Is Me
Wrong.
I'm not a play toy.
Do not look at me with puppy dog eyes.
Respect me, for I am trapped and living it the best I know how.
When you realize that I am accountable for all of me, and no more, I'd like you to leave me be.
These words I speak, do you understand why they are not just conversation?
Meaning: my circumstances are not as different as they might seem.
This is me, and that is you. We are us, hopefully to the purpose of understanding more about each other.
:iconpicayunevoltage:picayunevoltage
:iconpicayunevoltage:picayunevoltage 1 0
Literature
Spring and Such
They never say smiles save lives
They say grow up, you're too old to believe in that kind of magic
But what if all you have is looking up at the sun and seeing the best part of being awake
We take so much for granted
So when I smile or laugh, it's because I want you to know that your presence is appreciated
Just like when I ask,
It'll be with my heart in the cloudless sky
Forever falling for a life of adventure and love
:iconpicayunevoltage:picayunevoltage
:iconpicayunevoltage:picayunevoltage 2 2
Literature
Of Leaves and Pawns
I. The leaves like a patch of sea turtles streaming the ocean
Get out, please just get out
Didn't I say that you were playing with someone who doesn't know up from down
Didn't I yell in pain as I took responsibility for that little noun called "fault"
A leaf falling out of rhythm
"Falling further than the middle"
Results in one last smack on return
Everybody knows this.
II. Have you any clue as to why I am okay when everyone around me is quiet, oh so quiet
The tension could break bones
I thrive in desolate situations
But in this warmth I could ask a million questions and still not burry my heart deep enough to keep it from turning into an answer
Because this thing we keep speaking of
It's a little bit too scalding for uncallused hands
Do you realize what you keep saying
Isn't nearly as silent as your motions
III. I don't know why
But the pain isn't in my hands
Soul-seeker, mine isn't nearly as happy as it looks
I've been in dark waters once too many a time
It's not enjo
:iconpicayunevoltage:picayunevoltage
:iconpicayunevoltage:picayunevoltage 1 0
Literature
On Wants
You take a step forward,
I take a step back:
I'm good at that.
Should
Tell you small steps
And I just can't find the words to let you in
Believe me,
It's my fault.
But if you could
Forget about me
Would you?
I like to sit here and pretend everything is alright
When inside I'm suffocating
They used to sell my heart butterflies and dresses
With the promise of a prince
should
Not care about what I want
Which is simply not a man or boy
I want it all
Your curls down to your shoulders
Your inability to speak up for yourself
Your tired, tired final decisions
See I feel trapped
Without you knowing
That I want
should
Be your only protector
From the heat of the day
To the cold of the night
Alike
Believe me,
Its my fault
I can't seem to understand
What a woman is
Without her pants.
:iconpicayunevoltage:picayunevoltage
:iconpicayunevoltage:picayunevoltage 2 2
Literature
So What's It Like, Being Perfect?
And with tremendous, tremulous breaths
I invite Time for a taste of tea
Waking to my mind warm and willing
For the first instance since my fall.
:iconpicayunevoltage:picayunevoltage
:iconpicayunevoltage:picayunevoltage 2 2
Literature
Llama
If I got a llama badge every time I favorited something...
:iconpicayunevoltage:picayunevoltage
:iconpicayunevoltage:picayunevoltage 0 0
Literature
The Last Breath
I remember
And with
The strangest clarity.
How I used to breathe--
Please untether me--
In your scent
Only to be
Securely
In your arms.
If you knew
How much
I got;
I'm so fucking scared
Of proceeding;
Without you,
I've learned
I'm on
To the next
I'm on
It's just
I'm proud
I'm so damn proud
And of what?
Who I am?
Who you are?
Who we were? (These words
Look wrong
Upon such a page)
I don't know.
I don't understand.
If you were
To show tomorrow
I might not
Know
How to collapse
Either
I don't know.
I don't understand.
I do know this
Hunger will not abate
When I wake tomorrow
And my breathing
Is the only in the room.
I do know
I've made a critical error
In trusting you
When I should be
Trusting myself:
Story of our lives.
I will always love you.
Stranger, you made my life.  
Now it's time for me to make someone else's.
:iconpicayunevoltage:picayunevoltage
:iconpicayunevoltage:picayunevoltage 1 0
Literature
I Wish I Knew What Lies Ahead
So tonight, hold me and promise to let go
When my heart finally buckles.
You'll notice by the doves fleeing my eyes that I'm finished, like a chocolate bar a moment after being bought.
:iconpicayunevoltage:picayunevoltage
:iconpicayunevoltage:picayunevoltage 1 0
Literature
Your Crown Has Slipped
you say you know
me
do you know why i
fall asleep on my stomach
or how every conversation
is an offense
do you understand
how many times i’ve cried
only to pick myself back up
without a scratch or bruise
do you listen when i tell you
over and over
i am agnostic
do you remember
that for my birthday,
i like some time alone
did you ever stop to consider who i am
before telling me
that i wasn’t enough
because, i think,
if you had paused
for the slightest fraction of a second
you would have noticed
how tall i stand
and forgotten
how to speak.
:iconpicayunevoltage:picayunevoltage
:iconpicayunevoltage:picayunevoltage 1 2
Literature
Blush and Cover
You scooped me up, in front of everyone
Led me to the side room
Planted one on my upper lip
Then excused yourself back to work.
:iconpicayunevoltage:picayunevoltage
:iconpicayunevoltage:picayunevoltage 0 0
Literature
Everything Else
i am bubble wrapped:
my ears know only praise;
my eyes register only glory.
this is what makes me human
…and i don’t know if i’ll make it out—
i am twenty for a year or two.
passionate against the strain of day;
by night a scientist of souls
embedded in my skin, scalars
stone and ceramic are too strong for my heart;
a dandelion can’t face it’s nature,
ashes choose only flight,
i don't know a name for my condition.
and all i could ever ask for is everything else in between,
:iconpicayunevoltage:picayunevoltage
:iconpicayunevoltage:picayunevoltage 0 3

Favourites

Literature
lol I have a history with bridges
"do you ever use a photo editing software, to get those eyes?
or are you rolling them, and the sun's reflecting, to give them their shine?"
young enough to go balls-deep,
tired enough to be hungry
I miss the earth and the birds and the cemetary that was forest hill
but where I never wanted it,
it took me time to see that
the year that was
I just gotta hold the momentum
compensating for the violence of the ride,
in keeping, gripping
"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfbLH2kRERA"
my hate is who I am, I'd be stupid like a townfolk
if I were not so ready to put my mettle when my mouth spoke
enough for you to get tired, just by speaking with me
the level that I live for, though, is almost unseen;
you get slimmer when you find cracks in the floor
that you wish you'd fall in, to
it's only in the sun I see my mistakes,
it's only in nature, I can concede my misgivvings, and face, that
it's only the sun that I stare down every thing I face
:iconaWay-with-knives:aWay-with-knives
:iconaway-with-knives:aWay-with-knives 1 0
Literature
Gutteral
right as you saw it
you felt it
deep in your gut
can't rationalize
or break it down
it's emotional
right as you witness
something in you
like a knot being tied
can't rationalize
or break it down
it's reactionary
right as you click down
a pain brewed
sunken in your gut
can't rationalize
or break it down
it's a gut feeling
right as you saw it
it hurt right in your sides
can't be rationalized
you find it demoralizing
your gut tells you it isn't right
it moves you to incite
in spite
of all reason
right as you saw it
you knew it
wasn't right
you'd empathize
and break in frowns
it's emotional
right as you witness
ire grew in you
like a child's tears
that are wiped with
laughter and leers
to change it upside down
is reactionary
right as you thumbs down
targets festooned
making pains to your gut
they can't sympathize
so why try to come around
it's a gut feeling
right as you saw it
gut tied knots in your sides
you are desensitized
you find people to despise
your gut tells you these people aren'
:iconSomethingguy912:Somethingguy912
:iconsomethingguy912:Somethingguy912 1 0
Literature
042317
we used to have good times
like rainstorms, loud and unexpected. some
nights we lost track of time talking
and the mornings were just bagels and coffee.
 do you remember when memories were made, 
does that buzzing feeling ever fade, or 
does it linger in your ribs for days?
:iconWePushedAngels:WePushedAngels
:iconwepushedangels:WePushedAngels 5 2
Literature
Eyes
Her eyes resembled the deep ocean,
Submerged in thoughts and feelings and secrets
Unbeknownst to any other but herself,
And silently craving attention.
:iconmoonlight-aesthetics:moonlight-aesthetics
:iconmoonlight-aesthetics:moonlight-aesthetics 2 0
Literature
Glacier Eyes
Her eyes,
like glaciers,
melt when she cries.
:iconpurplecuriosity:purplecuriosity
:iconpurplecuriosity:purplecuriosity 9 0
Literature
Hello she said
Hello
She said
When we met
Over coffee
Hello
I said back
When we met
To be polite
How are you
She said
Smiling at me
Mouth shut
Im fine and you
I said
Smiling back
Teeth showing
Im ok
She said
Sad eyed
But ok
Ill have a coffee please
I said
When the waiter
Arrived
Same for me please
She said
And the waiter left silently
Eyes drawn to the floor
Nothing
We said
As we waited
For our coffees
Nothing
We said
As the waiter returned
And we drank our coffees
Nothing
We said
As I paid the cheque
And we left
Goodbye
I said
As we left the cafe
And parted ways
Goodbye
She said
As she turned her back
And walked away
I love you
I whispered
As she rounded the corner
And was gone
:iconDarkstar1618:Darkstar1618
:icondarkstar1618:Darkstar1618 1 0
Literature
An Apology to My Body (19/30)
When I was little I was taught that sex
was a privilege given to men.
My mother told me they had to earn
the fruits of my body but
when did I ever own those fruits
in the first place?
I never knew that I could love myself
without a man,
that exploring my own body
was natural and I could touch myself
without feeling ashamed
or even knowing what an orgasm was.
When I was little my mother
wouldn’t let me read manga because
she believed it would turn me gay—
I don’t think she realized I had already
noticed the curves of my best friend’s body,
hourglass shape and distinct scent of shampoo
in her hair. I knew it was wrong but
I thought, “women
seem much softer than men.”
I’m sorry I became something you
wouldn’t be proud of.
When I first let a man inside of me
I overflowed like a breaking dam,
damn,
“damn you!”
because I’m not sure if I made
him work enough, because I’m not sure if
he earned it,
because I felt dis
:iconxLeylunax:xLeylunax
:iconxleylunax:xLeylunax 1 0
Literature
In Between
I watched you dance, on broken glass
I saw your flesh not flinch against the pain
I watched as red painted your feet
I cried, as your wide smile followed mine
I loved you, but you were not mine
I dreamt of you, and wished
I watched you, and hoped
I touched you, and crumbled
I stitched loyalty in your skin
Taped flowers to your ankles
Braided diamonds in your hair
And carved promises on your tongue
Yet still you evaded me, grinning all the while
As if holding my heart on a string
Dancing around my gypsy soul
And pretending to kiss my lips
I watched your grace display on ice
I saw your flesh shiver against the cold
I watched as blue swam up your legs
I cried, as your eyes caught mine
As the melody continued to play
From flesh to flesh and nothing
In between
(When we met it was as if two stars collided
Sheer destruction bloomed our bond
And I crumbled at your touch
Desperate on my knees)
:iconXanatos-Leo:Xanatos-Leo
:iconxanatos-leo:Xanatos-Leo 5 2
Literature
stuck
what is a thinker
who does nothing?
is he even thinking?
:iconWriter233:Writer233
:iconwriter233:Writer233 1 0
Literature
Savants
We are not
The same
(Person).
I.
Diligently beholden
To none,
He glamours the resin
Of arousal
Across her horsehair
Bow -
Strung tighter
than a noose -
And waits for her
To snap.
II.
Run my sobs 
Through your skin.
Only then 
Will you discover
The purity
Within.
I take hits
Off petty sins
For you to
Break another 
Mirror -
Just to see
Clearer -
What you've 
Always feared 
To know:
You've claimed
A coward's
Throne.
III.
Can you publicize
With cutting "I's"?
Admit your hubris,
Own your flaws?
Or does your advice
Only pertain 
To those
Who've lost
Their cause?
IV.
Don't kiss
My cooling brow
To pretend it's not
In vain.
Don't tell me 
Not to feel it
When we are not
The same.
:iconbyrds-of-midnight:byrds-of-midnight
:iconbyrds-of-midnight:byrds-of-midnight 13 0
Literature
Never Perfect
All beauty is in imperfection
Perfection is a horror to behold
For you know you will never see
Better
:iconM0T0M:M0T0M
:iconm0t0m:M0T0M 9 2
Literature
Yours, Medusa
Oh how naive of me, 

To think I could steal you away for even a moment

Even though in a moment you stole me away for all eternity

Are you so scared of me?

Did I come on too strong? 

Or not strong enough?

Like Medusa has my affection turned you to stone?


I’m alone

As these thoughts pour through my head

Wriggling like snakes in my brain,

Petrifying. 

I’m petrified 

By the thought of you in her treacherous arms

Caught in a siren song

That is eating away at your soul 

Note by note


I’ve never seen eyes so haunted

haunting me in my dreams

I keep waiting for you to come around the corner

like some tragic ghost

I see you everywhere
When you smell cinnamon and oranges

When she wears bright red lipstick
When you’re laying in bed alone at night

Do you see me at all?

I’m transparent before you. &
:iconConcreteGypsy:ConcreteGypsy
:iconconcretegypsy:ConcreteGypsy 1 0
Literature
Only Felt
Defining all I have for you,
Inside I know and just so clearly,
Outside it all vanishes,
Before truly seeing,
Can't seem to resolve or place it.
Not mattering slightly I continue,
To indulge myself,
Ever increasing,
After I'm with you.
I only seek to give,
Everything you deserve,
Keep me feeling,
Reaching further.
:iconFish-Love:Fish-Love
:iconfish-love:Fish-Love 2 0
Literature
Amorpolitan
There was this one time
A boy offered the world to me
But he couldn't deliver
So
I threw my feelings off the building
And watch it blend in the cityscape
The sparkle it once had
Now lost among the urban lights
So restless
So done with.
:iconVellaroque:Vellaroque
:iconvellaroque:Vellaroque 1 0
Literature
I'm A White Boy Beauty Has No Race
A pitch black dove
My sweetheart's got my love
Can't nothing stop us
We're like a hurricane in the tropics.
Flipping and whipping and trailing my girl
She's got my mind spinning, you know
She's my midnight swirl.
Everything is possible
Nothing is im
Burnin' her hot like she my midnight oil on brim
You know we're unstoppable!
She bounces like a rubber ball
Temptin' me to lust and fall
But we're putting a ring on it sweetly
Consummation you know will follow immediately.
Let it be known
There are few flavors as savor
Let it be shown
Chocolate takes the throne.
:iconwinterfate101:winterfate101
:iconwinterfate101:winterfate101 2 0
Literature
Two Steps Forward
Two steps forward,
One step back.
That’s what they always say.
They tell me all the time
About my
    Depression
    Anxiety
Take two steps forward
And it’s ok
to take one step back.
But me…
    Me
What if I don’t want to?
I’ll take two steps forward
And one to the side.
Then one back
And one more forward
Then two more to the side.
Then I’ll switch things up
And take Depression for a dip
or Anxiety for a twirl.
Then I step back with a twist
    And a hop
         And a swirl
              and a flourish.
I don’t take steps.
I dance with my life.
I tango with Depression.
I waltz with Anxiety.
They are my partners
in my dance
    in my life.
I might take two steps forward
I might take one step back.
But it’s every other step
That matters.
:iconamoeternus:amoeternus
:iconamoeternus:amoeternus 1 0

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picayunevoltage

Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
I was once a child; now, I am a researcher of all words young and old.

Otherwise, tennis shoes are the attire of choice.

Hope you enjoy my page!

Activity


233 deviations
and the time is coming to move on once again
the grass is emerald green, but the tears in my head won’t go out for the occasion
it’s the warm ache in my fingertips that worries me;
reaching out isn’t an option so late in the day
that the sun is a stuck orange to the sky,
stuck like a kill screen, stuck like me
the swollen tongue in my mouth is queen to the sharp, unsteady beats of my heart
it’s going to ruin me, you know
the “afterwards”
sputtering, I
can’t find that cursed
surface.

teeth gritting;
arms flailing;
feet twisting:
couldn’t he have at least
had the decency
to let it be?

but
underwater, noise travels as well.
I wish I could elaborate;
I have to save my breath
for when it runs short.

there was a study:
a personality bears no resemblance to that
of the same person 50 years younger.

and I want your life—not that it helps to say so.
no, I don’t hold back—
not that it matters—
I am nothing more than a needle in a haystack/forest of pines
(that tee-shirt I have).

you warrant a rake or two;
he doesn’t deserve a hand.
please, understand that he is all I had
for far too long
etched into my DNA is his writing
I am his daughter;
all I can hope to become is my own
wanderer.

he took from me what I hold most dear;
I hope you can help me get it back,
but perhaps my carelessness was never a point to be loved
and maybe those leaves on my bust
will turn gold after an afternoon of floating
just underneath the surface.

heart warming;
fingers itching;
toes curling;
I am yours to keep.
It's the itch at the back of my throat
The smile that tugs my lips over my teeth
Now, if I tell you it's all been a joke to me, would you cry with me?
Now, if I were to ask for more, would you answer in a complete sentence?
Put your lips on mine, dig deeper than you've ever before
Come on, let's forget this pain and fall asleep in each other's arms
Really, I'm ready to ask for more.
1. I used to call airplanes man-made wishing stars
If I dare slip a breath in, would I catch the butterflies that you seem to have
2. My favorite thing to say was, "It's not time to worry yet."
Here I am yet again, hoping for something that'll never have the chance to happen
3. I used to agree with mainstream clothing
With these tattered shirts, I'm no one important
4. He used to tell me the sweetest things, only to stab my back over and over
I'm crying every time I see you, just wishing I had more time to tell you how good you are

Because if there's one lie I've learned to speak over these last few years, it's that I'm not worth the effort. Shallows threaten to swallow me whole, and I'm not even 20.

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:iconvellaroque:
Vellaroque Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Hobbyist Writer
thank you
Reply
:iconpicayunevoltage:
picayunevoltage Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Hobbyist Writer
No problem
Reply
:iconlyricsinlostland:
LyricsInLostLand Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2017
thank you very much for adding my piece to your collection, much appreciated.
Reply
:iconpicayunevoltage:
picayunevoltage Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
You're very welcome!
Reply
:icongallindz:
gallindz Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2017
thank you for the fave !!! :)
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:iconpicayunevoltage:
picayunevoltage Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
Sure thing!!!!
Reply
:iconiambored7:
iambored7 Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2017
Thank you
Reply
:iconpicayunevoltage:
picayunevoltage Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
Welcome!
Reply
:iconsnowy2525:
Snowy2525 Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2017  Hobbyist
thank you very much ... :)
Reply
:iconpicayunevoltage:
picayunevoltage Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
Very welcome :)
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